apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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