yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
