drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
