if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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