CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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