Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
