I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
