After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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