My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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