no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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