If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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