it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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