just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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