Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
