Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
