someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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