we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
