It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
