The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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