did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
