; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
