Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
