i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
