you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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