I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
