she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
