To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
