Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
