return my video game
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
