dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
