took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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