She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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