He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
