just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
