dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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