hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
