Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
