Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
