arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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