Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
