i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
