I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
