It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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