you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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