so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's official drugs can't kill me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
