there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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