When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
50% drunk capacity currently
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
