White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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