Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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