all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
