his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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